Birth Order and Sibling Relationship:
The Adlerian approach is giving
special attention to the relationships between siblings and the position in
one’s family .Adler identified five psychological positions: oldest, second of
only two, middle, youngest, and only. It should be noted that actual birth
order itself is less important than individual, s interpretation of his or her
place in the family .since Adlerian view human problems as social in nature,
they emphasize interfamily relationships.
Adler (1958) observes that many people
wonder why children of the same family often differ so widely. It is a fallacy
to assume that children of the same family are formed in the same environment.
Although they share aspects in common in the family constellation, the
psychological situation of each child is different from that of the others
because of the order of their birth. The following description of the influence
of birth order is based on Ansbacher and Ansbacher (1964), Dreikurs, (1953),
and Adler (1958).
(A). the oldest child generally receives a good deal of
attention, and during the time she is
the only child, she is typically somewhat spoiled as the center of attention.
He/She tends to be dependable and hard working and strives to keep ahead. When
a new brother or sister arrives on the scene, however, he/she finds herself
ousted from her favored position. She is no longer unique or special. She may
readily believe that the newcomer will rob her of the live to which she is
accustomed.
(B). the second child is in a
different position. From the time he/she is born, he shares the attention with
another child. The typical second child behaves as if he was in a race and is
generally under full steam at all times. It is through this second child were
in training to surpass the older brother or sister. This competitive struggle
between the two first children influences the later course of their lives. The
younger child develops a knack for finding out the elder, child weak spots and
proceeds to win praise from both parents and teachers by achieving success
where the older sibling has failed. If one is talented in a given area, the
other strives for recognition other abilities. The second born is often
opposite to the firstborn.
(C). the middle child often feels
squeezed out. She may become convinced of the unfairness of life and feel
cheated. This person can assume a “poor me” attitude and can become a problem
child. On the other hand, especially in families characterized by conflict, the
middle child will become the switchboard and the peacemaker, the person who
hold things together.
(D). the youngest child is always
is the baby of the family and tends to be the most pampered one. He has a
special role to play, for all other children are ahead of him. Youngest
children end to go their own way. They often develop in ways no others in the
family have thought about.
(E). the only child has a problem
of his/her own. Although he/she shares some of the characteristics of the
oldest child (namely, high achievement drive), he/she may not learn to share or
cooperate with other children. He/she will learn to deal with adults well, as
they make up their original familial world. Often, the only child is pampered
by his/her parents and may become dependently tied to one or both of them.
He/she may want to have centre stage all of the time, and if his/her position
is challenged, he/she will fell it unfair.
Birth order and the interpretation of
ones position in the family have a great deal to do with how adults interact in
the world. Individuals acquire a certain style of relating to others in
childhood and from, a definite picture of themselves that they carry into their
adult interactions. In Adlerian therapy, working with family dynamics,
especially relationships among siblings, assumes a key role. Although it is
important to avoid stereotyping individuals, it does help to see how certain
personality trends that began in childhood as a result of sibling rivalry
influence individuals throughout life.
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